So you accept it, you are an energy Vampire. How do you get charged?
Well instinctively you may reach out to those happy shiny people. You are a wounded soul. Each wounded soul naturally seek out that missing energy. For me it is childhood trauma, I seek love and acceptance. Problem with that is my soul is not just light anymore. I have darkness inside of me from childhood sexual abuse. Doesn’t make me a bad person just means during those times I left my body and I didn’t always come back whole. Sometimes I had parasites. My trauma gave them form as a big ass soul sucking leech. I needed to feed myself while it fed on me. Surprise surprise my sins of choice are now food and sex. Trauma takes over your life whether you are knowledgeable of that fact or not.
Now the happy shiny people are taking issue with how much energy you drain from them. Oh shit you must be evil! Nah! You need consent, people choose to give, they can also choose to stop giving. How you react once your support system is gone however is what determines your character. Now unfortunately without the knowledge of how to charge up you will likely try to feed on everything around you but most of it will come from those closest to you. This may be why you have been unable to maintain relationships. You need to learn balance. We are people who have little of our own to give, but damn do we have an ability to channel energy when we need it.
We gotta learn to eat scraps! Funny thing about energy, it comes in all forms. Learn how to take the negative and recycle it into positive energy in your life. People will thank you when you take their burden and we get to power up. Some may say that you should simply learn centering and grounding and that can help to some degree. It is also very against the flow for my soul personally. Grounding is supposed to plug you into the universal energy grid and allow you to cast from a source of great power. There is a problem with that. It comes from somewhere. If everyone uses up the good only the bad is left. You have just fucked over someone. Whether it is someone you don’t know or someone you know isn’t what is important. You took someone else’s energy whether you can see it or not. Sure you don’t drain the people right in front of you but why is it better? It so is not! At least as far as I’m concerned.
What I do is drain those nearest me of their pain. This is the soul work I do. I feed off of negative emotions by taking them into myself, helping their soul heal and my own which in turn creates a spark that changes that energy from negative to positive. When you do this kind of work eventually people just come to you. I am an introvert however the souls just come to me even when I try to just be casually social. Going to a party usually means I’m doing soul work for at least one person. I don’t have an off switch, I am not only sometimes a soul healer, the souls just know.
You remember that angry person at the party that got offended easily? Yeah they’re probably the one who needs the soul healing. People will confess things to you when you do this work. You may not be a doctor or a priest but you are. You must honor their spirit or what you have gained from them is no longer yours. You cannot speak other people’s truths to others. This is an oath you take when you agree to do this work. The spirits do not let you get away with betraying souls. The exception to this is confiding in someone who you trust completely as you will also require emotional support, or a matter of safety. As with priests and doctors the stories can be spoken about to give perspective but the identities and all specifics to connect them to the story must be removed. You do not out them, ever. They have a right to privacy, truth is most speak to us without knowing what it is they say, we are in a place of power. With great power comes great responsibility. Do not piss off the spirits you will regret it.
You don’t just help heal a soul and feel completely 100% afterwards. If you have done as I have and decided to not feed your soul for a few years fearing you will hurt someone you may have health problems. Once you have changed at a cellular level it takes time to heal from that and doing soul healing will take its toll on a weak vessel. I felt like shit the day after meeting a woman who loved her child so much she felt every cut. Can you imagine the trauma of choosing to remain awake during your C-section? What if the general anesthetic they had used didn’t actually stop you from feeling the surgeons cut you open? How many would make a sacrifice this great to keep their eyes on their child from the moment she leaves the womb to the moment she is in your safe arms? This is the power of mother energy. There is a downside to every type of energy. This mother hurts, every day of her life she hurts and that hurt makes her a better mother. It also crushes her soul and she needs an outlet. Sometimes I can completely remove a trauma, one this great I cannot. She chooses to hold onto it enough to be the best mother she can be and maybe when her child is all grown up and well adjusted she can let go and allow herself to grieve over the trauma she endured for the birth of a child she would do anything for for the rest of their lives. Until then I will soothe her when I can should our paths ever meet again.
I hold onto my trauma. It doesn’t feed on me like it did, now it’s an empty husk. It has teeth but it does as I say now. I need it to do my work. I need to be able to feel pain as I had once felt it. It needs to be raw enough for me to empathize beyond the surface with any being. I must be able to eat this pain and suffering and turn it into something else. I am a wounded soul. To a certain degree everyone is, some just more than others. I am a better person because of my trauma. Now I am a soul healer, and do this by feeding off of others. Being an energy vampire doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It is simply a skill whether that skill is a gift or a curse is up to you. Make choices to help heal by draining and destroying trauma then feeding the spirit left behind with empathy and you will find your world a whole lot different than most. Welcome to duality in its purest form. Acceptance of the negative gives birth to the positive. Choose compassion, choose empathy, choose acceptance.